The Road
And the 4 stages of my life post high school
Do you ever get a random thought doing something so mundane, that hits you so deep? I had this the other day, similar to the story of one of my previous articles, about the housing estate on the East Lancs road. This time, I was travelling down a road by my house, a very basic road with nothing really striking about it, but it was the reasons for travelling down that street over the years, and where I was at that time mentally, that struck me. Here, I will discuss those 4 stages of my life, and I hope you can take a message from this piece.
Stage 1 — College Life (16–18)
Back when I was at college, it was a little while away. To get there, I needed to walk 30 minutes to get a bus which would take nearly 1 hour to get there, depending on traffic and other factors. Walking down the road mentioned was a major part of every morning, and if you have read my first article from 3 years ago, you will know that college was, for sure, a miserable time for me.
When I look back now, it was rather ironic that I walked alone down the road at this point. In the first year of college, I felt so alone, I had no friends and I struggled to adapt to going through the education system without my childhood peers for the first time, like beginning primary school all over again. Most days I’d be running late, so I would literally be running to catch the bus. In second year, I began to drive, so never really got the bus as much, but it was the first year which saw me walk the road alone, perfectly encapsulating my social status at college at that time.
Stage 2 — University Life (19–20)
University was a lot better, especially in the first year. I drove most days, which at first was another struggle, as I would get in early and sit in the library alone. However, as time passed, and I made friends and eventually found a girlfriend, life was picking up. The last couple of years at college felt, in some aspects, worth it, because I was now in a much better place and appreciated it so much more.
The first semester, particularly, was when the road was an important part of my life. As I lived at home, when I went on a night out, I would need to get the last train back home, as I had nowhere to stay. So, at around 11:30pm once a week, you could catch me walking down this road, half drunk, with a big smile on my face — a lot different to college me’s experience. This was a regular occurrence, until I had a girlfriend and would stay with her. However, the next morning you could also find me, on occasion, getting the train home, happy as can be.
Stage 3 — Post University (22)
Once university ended, and my relationship ended, I went back to a pretty dark place. I was working a job which I saw no future in, and my friends I saw less and less, and I had no romantic experiences or dates at this time. The happiness I had experienced at university was slowly fleeting, and I felt like I was in a rut.
We were still in COVID times technically in 2021/early 2022, so I used the road to go to the gym. Again, I had no motivation to improve myself, everything felt numb and nothing seemed to bring me joy. The drive or walk to the gym always felt like a chore, like something I had to do for my health, rather than something I enjoyed. It was like going back to being 16/17, with no purpose in life. On the horizon, however, was Camp America.
Stage 4 — Post-Camp America (23)
After having the best time of my life in Michigan, I returned home and I felt like nothing had really changed. My friend was engaged, and another had moved in with his girlfriend, but my life felt like it was sliding back into that rut. I got a temporary Christmas job somewhere I hated, and again felt lonely.
As the months passed, my attitude changed. Rather than feeling sad about being away from America, I realised that nostalgia is a powerful emotion, for good and bad purposes. It is okay to miss something, but to let it poison your present day view is toxic and stops your enjoyment of, well, anything. So, I began to run down the road, and go to the gym. What used to feel like a chore began, and still does, feel like a break from work and a break from my phone, the cause of most of life’s problems.
Whilst I may be looking to soon move away from home as I turn 24, I am sure, at some point in future, Bridle Road will again become a milestone of how far I have come.
