The Dangers of Dating Apps
Romance in the 21st Century
I am what you would call an old-fashioned romantic. My previous relationships have started out as friendships and over time have blossomed into more, and I have never had luck when it comes to meeting girls on nights out or at parties. That is why it’s so hard nowadays for people with my mindset to meet new people, because with my mindset you’d only ever meet people if you change something in your life (where you live, your job, a new hobby, etc). It isn’t too hard to imagine my struggles come from a lack of confidence and a social awkwardness that I have always had. Not to say that I lack in confidence all the time, as in some situations where I feel secure in my surroundings and with the people, I am more assured and find it easier to speak to people, but that is not all that common.
Maybe I was born in the wrong generation, because all this dating app stuff eludes me. I have used the main ones, such as Tinder and Hinge, but it never leads to anything. Although I get matches, my anxiety takes a toll and I always struggle to start a conversation, because I am much better in person, or when somebody gets to know me. That’s the issue, isn’t it? Sure, you may judge a person’s looks before deciding on whether you are interested in them, but the nature of these apps increases that idea tenfold. Tinder, for example, provides little information about a person, except for maybe a short bio, their music tastes and personality displayed through photos/videos. Even Hinge, which is meant to challenge this shallow digital fashion show, provides users with little to work with. 3 short responses and a poll seems like a lot, but most answers (in my experience) seem to revolve around liking something popular, wanting a partner with certain features/characteristics or the type/amount of alcohol they have.
But, this is where the trouble lies. Due to the rise of social media and video gaming, a lot of today’s generation doesn’t know how to interact socially without a screen. I may be the opposite (and not to sound like a boomer), but people are glued to their devices, and struggle to hold a conversation without having a screen to think behind and to hide any awkward silences. The fact that these applications have risen in the last 10–15 years is because that is the way people meet each other now; the modern day equivalent of speed dating. And as people get more desperate for connection, the hidden purpose behind these companies becomes apparent.
Halfway through writing this article, my purpose changed. Originally, it was to explain my fish-out-of-water scenario in modern dating, having always met people the same way throughout my dating life thus far. Now, with new inspiration, I realised that companies like Tinder and Hinge are much more sinister. They target these lonely individuals, who may have recently had a heartbreak or never had a serious relationship before, and they capitalise on their despair for physical connection via monetary gains. In my mind, this is not different to how betting corporations prey on those who have addictive personalities, or how fast food chains will advertise their greasy products to people with eating disorders or a lack of willpower.
Every dating app does this: Tinder charges an individual for unlimited likes and the ability to control the public things on your profile, among other things; Hinge asks for money in exchange for profile boosts and unlimited roses (to send to a special section called ‘standouts’, who tend to be considered the most attractive in your area). Even Bumble, who offer a progressive version of a dating app and require women to message first, give ‘rematches’ and a lack of ads to their paying customers. Funnily enough, I left the app recently due to a feeling of wasting my time, and every time I open a Youtube video, the same Bumble advert plays, entising you to return. Sounds familiar, right?
I genuinely believe these apps are dangerous for young people, especially because, unlike some other pastimes which have the same predatory, cash-making practices, it is not something a parent can monitor or is likely to want to. It is also something which the government is not likely to intervene with, unlike with video games and gambling/alcohol. Many could see it as a shortcut to happiness, something we know does not exist, for the most part anyway. Referring back to a previous article, the pressures placed on those in young adulthood to move forward with their lives is monumental, and a key component of that is the age at which our parents or grandparents met, and the need to start a family before 30. We rush into relationships in order to find ‘The One’ sooner, and these companies offer an easy out for those looking for somebody. However, like gambling, just because you spend your hard-earned money to get this “boost”, it doesn’t guarantee that you will meet somebody, and the lack of regulation monitoring these practices is truly scary.
